The Road To Hell Is Paved With Sharpened #2 Pencils
Post by Sarah Almond @ The Sadder But Wiser Girl
I used to be a teacher, and I understand having little to no budget and shrinking federal funding for schools. Therefore, when school supply lists come out I tend to be fairly understanding when they ask for certain items. While my husband throws a fit, I quietly go to Target and try to get them what they need.
Then I got this year’s school supply list…
Holy crap on a stick, could they get any more specific? What happened to the days when we could pick up some pencils, paper, and a box of crayons and be done with school supply shopping? Don’t believe me???
The following list may or may not be exaggerated.
Pencils: Seven plain number two pencils precisely sharpened so that they may also function as a weapon.
Crayons: Must be a box of eight. Must be Crayola and the exact colors of the rainbow, because kids like rainbows and apparently other colors make people sad.
Glue: Elmer’s, 8 ounces, white, pointy cap because it looks like a gnome and gnomes are funny.
Ruler: May not be wood, because trees die for that.
Markers: Must be washable. Must be Crayola and in a box of 10. Must not weigh more than 12 ounces.
Scissors: Fiskars brand, bluntness of a 37 degree tip.
Folders: Seven plain folders, no pictures, no gloss, no black, no fun.
Spiral notebooks: Must be plain, no gloss, no black (WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH BLACK????)
Tissues: Two boxes, white, 175 count, no antiviral, no lotion, must be Kleenex or Puffs brand and must be as scratchy as possible. No toilet paper please (we don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea…).
Hand soap: Antibacterial, must be pink in color, must smell like flowers and not the scent of broken dreams.
What got me was the one thing that they needed to be specific about, they were not. It simply stated “Stylus”. WHAT KIND OF STYLUS? Don’t do this to me!!!!
I’d also like to point out that this list was sent out by the people who are educating our future leaders. The word pencil sharpener was spelled wrong more than once…
It did not help that my kindergartner was sent two different lists. After going all over the world trying to find “chubby” pencils from the first list, the second one had nothing of the sort on it. They got the pencils because I was trying to be a good mom and already wrote her name on the package. Then I turned around forgot all about kindergarten parent night.
Yup, it’s gonna be a good year… I can feel it.